If you cry in the shower did you actually cry?

everyone’s waiting

I know all the lines to say

The part I’m expected to play

But in the reflection I am worlds away

As I put my costume on

Eyelashes one by one

Been doing this so long I can..

Tie the knot

behind my back

Cause everyone’s waiting

obesealpaca:

kanyewesticle:

just having my breakfast nbd

can’t afford cereal
Imagine Harry Potter was set in Australia.

“Three blokes sitting outside the pub lift their heads as they hear a car engine rumbling, to their disbelief, the iconic 2008 Holden ute flies overhead, nothing but the wooping of the two young boys driving it and AC/DC blasting out of the sound system can be heard.”

“You’re a cunt Harry” says Hagrid, Harry looking like a stunned mullet.
“Oi nah fuck off mate” replies Harry, disbelief written all over him. 

(Source: elantrian-worldhopper, via beperpetuallydrunk)

firelordzuko:

firelordzuko:

good thing there’s no cats on mars

see the joke is that curiosity killed the cat

(via laughing420)

Forecast: cloudy with chance of deep dark depression

If you’re reading this then it means you’re following me.

Congratulations on your excellent decision.

(Source: catchafir3, via flayyy-deactivated20140619)

finnicktional:

nobody ever asks how’s waldo

(via wabbitwanderer95)